"I'm a Carver"

©1999 D. Burgdorf      (Return to "Poetry")

I went to my friends, I needed to know if I'm a carver.
They said, "Look around", and you know what I found?  I'm a carver!
Neighbors look at me strange, yard work's overdue,
But my wife, she can't do it— she's down with the flu.
Stumps in my yard where shade trees once grew— I'm a carver.

In my hot tub I see many chips floating by, I'm a carver.
On the family room carpet, chips piled high, I'm a carver.
Carving shows coming up, vacation time's near,
We won't get to see Hawaii this year.
She went home to Mama when I said, "Sorry Dear."— I'm a carver.

Dicing veggies I make my best carving yet, I'm a carver.
This one won't go on the pot to be et, I'm a carver.
Neighbor lady came by acting haughty and rude
With her nose in the air like a real first class prude.
I'll carve her a "bird" (suits her attitude)— I'm a carver.

Car's parked on the drive, garage full of wood, I'm a carver.
I'm keeping it dry like I know that I should, I'm a carver.
Saw a real pretty girl, scantily clad,
On a carousel horse, acting sexy and bad.
I studied the horse and that made her mad— I'm a carver.

Always looking for timber as I drive down the road, I'm a carver.
Even sharpen my knives sitting on the commode, I'm a carver.
My scars are all named for the carvings I've done.
Some nights I make carvings 'till I see the sun.
They may not be winners, but this sure is fun— I'm a carver.

To show off my work I'll get a web site up soon, I'm a carver.
Shouldn't take more than one afternoon, I'm a carver.
Folk think I'm obsessed, they don't have a clue.
They don't understand why I do what I do.
I say, "Give it a try then you'll be one too!"—I'm a carver.