"The Scholarship of a Sagacious Specimen"

©1998 D. Burgdorf      (Return to "Poetry")

The scene— a local wood craft show with carvings on display.
She's a carver, so am I.  I'd see what she had to say.
I'd play a role, critique her work, receive her gratitude.
But her response to my advice?— a different attitude.

I started to introduce myself with no thought of restraint.
She cut me short, said, "Hold it Dude, I'll tell you who you ain't.
Those human figures that you carved— realism was you're claim,
Well there's no doubt about it, Fred Coglow's not your name.

Your little wildlife piece of what-ever-it-is in a tree
Leads to the conclusion you're no kin to Desiree."
At caricature carvings I thought good she struck a painful blow
And her evaluation really got me feel Enlow.

"That little figure over there sure ain't a Maxwell clown.
It seems to me you're just a Wolfe, but not one of renown."
She said of my chip carvings, "To Wayne Barton you're no threat."
And, "To be a legend like Tangerman you may as well forget!"

Well, I never got to say my name— I knew that I'd been broke
'Cause when it came to quality, she knew of what she spoke.
And I felt when it was over I'd been beat with verbal bats.
Guess I'd better practice more on "Chip", and forget about the "Chats".